Black and White, and The Grey In Between!
By PassionFish
Summary: A different take on how Buffy and Spike might have taken Angelus down. It's an odd POV, which may take a little to get into, but once you're there it's worth it, I'm told!
TimeLine: Set in Season Two, not hugely canon.
Rating: R
URL: http://www.morbiddesires.com/MD
Feedback: Yes – always: morbiddesiresbypassionfish@yahoo.com
A/N: Each part begins with the part number, a reference to whose thoughts the part revolves around and then its title.
This fiction has won awards! Thank you!
[Originally Posted: March '03, Revamped: April '04]
This Fiction Has Been Nominated :: HERE!!!
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Chpt1 -- Buffy
Beginnings...
I'm not sure how this started.
I just know when.
A month.
A month yesterday.
I was crying...and he came to me.... Weird, huh?
Actually comforted me.
And I let him.
And maybe that was weirder.
At the time I'm not sure which of us was more shocked.
…
I look up.
I'm almost there.
This used to be my place.
At least that’s how I used to think of it.
The one place I used to come to get away from it all – Slayer, my mom, Angelus…and yeah; Angel.
Now it's 'ours'.
I don't mind. Not really.
…
I sit down, push off and allow my feet to skim the ground as the swing slowly rocks back and forth.
This is how he found me that night.
Except then I wasn't looking forward to (or expecting for that matter) him to be there.
I'm kinda glad that he was though.
Since then we've met here, pretty much every night.
We've got a plan now.
But we have to wait.
Only another week now.
And then it'll all be over.
He accompanies me on patrol.
Not quite sure why.
I didn't ask him to.
But I didn't complain.
I'd never tell him.... but I.... well, I kinda like his company!
It's just nice to know someone's there, ya know?
Comforting.
I hear a twig snap and smile to myself.
This Vampire can walk on eggshells and not crack a single one.
So he did it for my benefit.
"Hey Spike."
Chpt2 -- Spike
Beautiful and pure...
She sits exactly how she did that night.
The moonlight slides over her hair, creating a shimmering effect of different highlighted tones.
Satan only knows why I did it.
But I gotta admit; I'm fucking glad I did.
Tonight she's Miss. Calm herself.
Beautiful and Pure.
That night was a different story.
I can feel the anger boil up in me as a recall what had happened to her…
…the state I had found her in…
Her hair muddy, clothes torn.
The scent of blood in the air.
And fear.
Fear so pungent, that even I was disgusted by it.
So I held her, rocking her back and forth on the very swings she sits on now till she stopped crying.
Took her home and put her to bed.
I stayed with her until first light.
Before seeking shelter in the sewers.
I would have killed him that night if she hadn't made me promise.
So now I have to wait while we follow out our plan.
Still, I can't NOT meet her.
She looks like she’s lost in her thoughts.
Not wanting to frighten her (which is a bloody strange reaction for a Vampire to have)
I purposely step on a twig to let her know that I'm here.
She looks up and I see a wisp of a smile on her pretty features.
"Hey, Spike."
She beckons me gracefully, purity and beauty at its height.
I smile back.
"Hello pet."
I move behind her and begin our ritual.
I reach out my hands and pull back the swing, before letting it go.
Her hair flies out behind her as she glides through the air.
Beautiful and Pure.
Chpt3 -- Spike
Dru...
As I hear her approach I sink down into the wheelchair.
Probably wouldn't do our plan much good if the opposition realised that ol' Spike could now walk.
My beautiful black goddess enters bringing with her a.... dog?
Yep, a dog.
"Here you go, love, you look a bit pasty." She coos at me.
Oh, fuck me backwards; she wants me to eat it.
Bitch!
"Do I look like a vamp who eats puppies?" I glare at her.
Dru doesn't seem perturbed by my outburst.
Pleased with it would be a better description.
"You need to keep your strength up, pet."
She sits on my lap, stroking my head like I'm a fucking dog.
"You're weak."
I growl loudly and fling her off my lap.
She crashes into the wall, crumbling down to the marble stone floor.
The dog, by some miracle, is unharmed and quickly scampers off.
Dru looks up at me, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, making it look like she's just fed, but messily.
Her eyes flash and she growls playfully at me.
"There’s my William. Come to play with mummy, grrruff, gruff! There’s a good dog."
She’s about to crawl over to me, when the wanker starts to call her.
Actually, bellows for her to come.
She scampers to her feet and is about to run off to obey when she stops, reaches into her dress and pulls out a pair of handcuffs.
Before I can work out what she’s about, my hands are trapped together.
"There you go." She pats me on my head and I growl again.
"Dru, take these off. NOW!"
"Don't be a bad boy; we'll have lots of fun later.” She grins wolfishly – it’s the only way to describe it.
“My Angel's going out to play with the nasty Slayer tonight so I want to make sure you can't run away from mummy."
"DRUSILLA!"
My anger's lost on her and she leaves, humming a long forgotten tune to herself as she sways in her own arms.
I rattle the restraints.
They don't budge.
Fuck!
Wait a minute; what was that about the Slayer?
My brains' slow on the uptake, still too pissed off to work out why it bothers me but the answer is simple.
Plan or no plan, he's not coming near her tonight.
I don't care what it takes.
Chpt4 -- Buffy
Blind Trust...
My mouth smiles out at Xander and Willow as they dance away to the fast music.
It doesn't reach my eyes.
I know that.
But they're too far away to tell.
They wave at me to join them but I mutely shake my head and hold up my drink in supplication.
They leave it and continue to dance.
I don't really want to be here.
Normally, by now, I would have met Spike.
I hope he's not worried.
Huh, don't be stupid Summers, of course he's not gonna be bothered.
It’s not as if he cares.
He's just waiting out the plan till he can get Dru back.
Pause...
Bitch.
Deep breath.
In.
Out.
Okay, drink empty now.
Xander and Willow return and I tell them I'll be back in a minute.
Xander tells me to get him a coke.
I give him the mental finger but smile and nod and turn and walk.
I get knocked into someone at the bar.
"Sorry." I mutter, blindly turning away, trying to meet my destination so the night can finally be over with.
"Don't mention it, pet." Someone growls into my ear.
I know that someone!
"Spike!"
I can't stop the happiness in my head escaping out into my voice.
"I'm glad you're happy to see me, now be a dear and come out here."
His voice is tight but his eyes are alight and mischievous.
He turns
And I follow.
Blind trust I'd think they call it.
Blind trust in my mortal enemy.
Chpt5 -- Spike
Handcuffs...
She's laughing.
Actually laughing.
I haven't really heard her laugh before.
I mean I've heard her laugh, but not like this.
This, this uncontrolled, joyous sound.
I grin at her goofily before quickly catching myself.
Big Bad’s don’t grin like a goof.
"Very funny, pet."
"Yeah...it...it really is!"
I growl low in my throat, playfully, and watch her giggles sober slowly.
She tries to look serious but that cheeky smile remains on her face.
"If I must!"
She takes my hands in hers and if I could actually breathe I'm sure it would catch in my throat.
"I kinda like you all at my mercy!"
Oh my God.
Her touch is so soft, so gentle, so warm.
"Okay, this might hurt..." She murmurs.
Good!
Okay, mate, think NOT so happy thoughts!
"Stop wriggling!"
"I hurts!" I hear myself whine.
God – what a pathetic excuse for a vamp; making nice with the Slayer.
She slides her fingers under one of the cuffs and I can hear her count under her breath.
"One...two...There you go."
I hear a click and the cuff drops from around my right wrist, hanging from my left.
"One down..." I mutter hoarsely.
Fuck...she hasn't moved her hand from my wrist; I don't even think she knows she's doing it.
"Oh! You're hurt!"
Her fingers are rubbing in small circles over the red, raw skin.
*Kiss it better?*
"What?!"
Fuck me, I said it out loud.
"Just...uh...noth-oh..."
I watch, my jaw drops, she's actually doing it.
Her lips just brush my wrist, barely even a kiss.
I can hear her heart beat, pounding away, like a bird fluttering its wings as it tries to get away from the jaws of the beast that’s caught it.
I'm still staring at her lips as she pulls away.
"Okay...numero duo!" She mutters, and even in the dim light at the back of the bronze to where I've led her, I can see her face is a flame.
Her fingers are shaking and it takes a little longer but the second cuff soon falls to the ground.
"Play good now." Buffy murmurs to me, and turns to walk away; ready to merge back into the dark, faceless club.
"Wait..."
She turns to me, a slightly apprehensive smile on her lips, "What now, Spike?"
Her voice is teasing and soft, sending shivers through my body.
I look over the top of her head as I hear a soft, slow love ballad come on.
"Want to dance, pet?"
She looks up at me and for a second I'm sure she'll refuse.
Then she smiles.
That slow, sweet smile that always turns me inside out.
"Okay."
Chpt6 -- Buffy
Dancing....
Ohmygod!
Ohmygod!
Ohmygod!
We're dancing.
He's touching me.
Holding me.
Well, his arms are loosely draped around me.
We're not really touching.
Not really...but....
His hands feel cold but they're warming me.
Inside.
The song changes…
The base is deeper…the beat throbbing…the world… sexier.
I don't want to pull away, but I should, sooo...
"Come 'ere, love."
Oh god, no one should have that sexy a voice.
His hands slide securely around my waist, sending shivers through me.
I hear him growl as he pulls me close.
I feel like I'm touching every part of him.
I can feel the play of the muscles down his body through his clothes as he moves us to the music.
One hand is just resting atop the swell of my bum, the other in between my shoulder blades; he's anchoring me to him.
Like he's afraid to let go.
There’s a heavy pulsating beat rolling around the room and I can feel my body echo it as we rock back and forth to the music.
It's nice.
Tender.
Erotic.
…
I wonder why he came here tonight.
I know we were meant to meet but it’s not like we finalised it … like a date or anything.
More like an unspoken agreement.
So why is he here?
I ask him.
"Angelus."
I stiffen.
I can't help it.
It’s reaction.
It’s automatic.
It’s fear.
"Dru said he was coming to play with me?"
"Yeah."
He growled the word, fury in every letter.
"We have to get of here then, too many people around."
Slayer brain on.
No time for anything else.
No time to worry.
No time to feel.
No time to fear.
"Okay, pet, get your stuff."
I nod and turn away, read to move off when he pulls me back…
…and kisses me.
It's soft really, gentle.
His mouth moves slowly over mine.
Teasing my lips open.
I read that in a book once.
He lifts his head and presses another kiss to my forehead, pushing me in the right direction.
Right.
Business Buffy.
Oz has arrived but the others are nowhere to be seen.
Good.
It's easier to tell him I'm going.
He just accepts it.
He looks calm.
Stoic.
That’s what I need.
Calm and Focus.
I grab my coat and head over to where Spike is standing.
"Showtime."
Chpt7 -- Spike
Forget...
She's not crying.
Not anymore.
She seems almost peaceful now.
She fell asleep about twenty minutes after the plane had taken off.
She was very tired.
But the sedative I put in her drink helped.
Well, we didn't have to wait for Acathla.
Angelus changed the game plan.
Had a body dumped on her door-step for when we got back…don’t rightly remember the chit’s name…
But Buffy knew her.
Apparently the wanker never gave up the whole watch-Buffy-dance-in-the-Bronze-through-the-shadows thing.
He wasn't expecting me to be her dance partner.
Neither was Dru.
We're on our way to Canada.
I had, have, a house up there, somewhere...
I'll deal with it once we're there.
Angelus is dust.
Since we're not floating around in molten lava, I think its safe to say Acathla's still just a big rock.
I don't know where Dru is.
She was there, and then she wasn't.
Fucking weird, I tell you.
Had no time to dwell on it though since I had a devastated Slayer on my hands.
I think it’s less the fact that she'd killed him....
The prick had certainly made it easy for her.
The shit spewing from his mouth....
I can feel myself begin to change, but stop when Buffy nuzzles me in her sleep, reminding me of where we are.
She didn't tell anyone.
Didn't want to.
Just wanted to leave.
So we did.
I'm sure Canada's nice this time of year.
We just need time.... to forget.
Just forget.
Chpt8 -- Buffy
Moving...
I heard this song on the radio today.
Not even sure what it’s called.
It was all about a mobile home.
No, wait - not an ACTUAL mobile home but a girl who was always moving from place to place.
Never really making any ties – just moving – always moving…
That's me now.
I don't mind so much.
Huh! I think Spike's taken it upon himself to show me the world…
Four months now.
That’s how long we've been away from Sunnydale.
I can't even say home.
I don't think I ever thought of it like that, anyway, even when it was good…
Not that it was ever good for very long.
We stayed five weeks in Canada.
I only remember the second.
He kept me safe though.
Fed and watered, as Mom would say.
The forth week was nice.
Better.
He was sweet.
That’s all he is to me these days.
I hate to think about it but I know why.
I think he has left over looking-after vibes from Dru.
God! I hate her.
I hate that I know he thinks about her…
I hate that I know she’s the reason he looks after me…
But, fuck it; I need someone to look after me for a bit.
The night before we left for Australia (by boat) he took me out.
I'd been cooped up for ages, just moping around the TV and fridge.
We went to the local cinema.
I say local, but it was about a fifty-mile drive!
When we got back it had snowed.
I don't know what made me throw the first ball, but after that it was full out war!
No quarter given or asked.
I smile at the memory.
After three weeks in Australia…
(Which I think, given the copious quantities of sun, was more due to my 'too cold' comments then Spike's endeerance to the country –
-- having said that he had another house there…so I don’t know)
…It was Italy for four more.
We're now in the South of France.
It's our last night…
It's bloody ridiculous.
I'm even thinking in the plural.
And I'm saying bloody!
I feel silly sometimes, like it’s all too surreal.
He's my best friend.
And I always wanted to see the world.
So I'm not ready to return.
Not yet.
Just a few more weeks.
Of paradise.
Our paradise.
Chpt8a -- Spike
Buffy Things...
She bites her nails.
She hides it too.
It’s...cute.
Also for a girl who has been around murder and violence for the past two or three years it’s fucking hilarious that she gets scared shitless
when she sees a spider about the size of a pea…
And won't sit back down until it’s gone.
Or let me sit back down.
…
She cries at old movies.
Since television started the only female I've been around is Dru and her version of emotion is slightly different from Buffy's.
Chpt8b -- Buffy
Spike things...
He reads poetry.
And he hides it.
It’s.... sweet.
Also, he keeps pig’s blood in our fridge, which is a little weird for a badass vamp to do.
Although, I think what’s worse is the fact that he crumbles weetabix up in it.
That’s not so sweet!
When he concentrates, his brow furrows just slightly, but the skin doesn't roll up.
It's like he has stretchy skin that has no effect on itself or its surroundings.
Oh, yeah...
He sings in the shower!
Chpt9 -- Spike
Bad Ass...
Hello Texas!
Cowboy boots and hats everywhere.
Fucking ridiculous.
Buffy loves it though.
She's already gone shopping.
Almost dark though, so she should be back soon.
Speak of the goddess...
"Look what I found!"
She shoves a flyer under my nose.
And drops her bags on my foot.
"OW!"
"Sorry, love."
She doesn't sound sorry, but she looks happy so I let it go.
"Yeah, right." I mutter.
Not quite – still evil you know...
I roll my eyes at my own thoughts…
I concentrate on the paper in my hand.
GOTH NIGHT!
"Goth Night? IN Texas?"
She comes back in, changed out of her 'shopping clothes' in to her 'comfy clothes'.
"Yep, wanna go?"
Her eyes are sparkling.
"Do I get a choice?"
"Do you want me to go alone?"
Fuck, she always knows what to say.
"No." I mutter reluctantly.
"There’s your answer, then!" She smiles and moves across the flat to the kitchen, preparing us lunch.
"I bought a special dress." She says in a teasing tone as she shoves her pizza in the oven and my blood in the microwave.
"You mean I bought you a dress." I grouse, but we both know I've given in...as though there was ever any contest!
"The point is, I have the dress, you have...well, you and we haven't gone to a club since...since..."
Her voice is cracking.
Shit!
I quickly move round the counter to go to her but the microwave bleeps and she turns away.
I sigh.
Fuck.
"'Course we'll go pet." I say with forced cheer.
"Great."
Fuck.
---
Fuck.
"Pet, maybe we should stay in."
Buffy shoots me her 'demure' look but doesn't quite manage to pull it off since she's standing in what a very generous, or mentally insane, person described as a dress.
"Come on, Spike."
She grabs my wallet off the side counter and drops it in my pocket grabbing the car keys and heading to the door.
"Better come quick, or I'm driving." She teased.
"No bloody chance, love."
Chpt10 -- Spike
Arguing...
Where the fuck was she?
A pretty looking girl with dark make up saunters up to me.
Hips swaying, eyes inviting…
Her blackened pouting lips open but before she can speak I start, "Sorry love, can’t say I'm interested."
"Fuck you, then, cowboy!" She struts off, grabbing the nearest farm boy before dragging him off to the centre of the dance flo-
THERE she is!
God, I love watching her dance.
Even though this isn't her usually crowd her body moves instinctively to the beat.
That 'dress' should be illegal.
What the fuck is this anyway?
Oh, yeah, Korn.
Fucking good kids.
Some of the better ones, I mean some of the shit that comes out these day-WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!
I don't even notice that I'm moving.
Others seem to though, because the crowd parts.
Clever kiddies.
The Big Bad's pissed now.
This bloke’s got his hands all over her.
I move up behind her, my arm moving around her, slamming her into my body and away from the grabby lothario.
My other hand shoots out before she can stop it, smashing into the punk's face.
God, I love the sound of breaking bones!
"SPIKE!"
I growl, ignoring her as the kid gets up.
"What the hell d'ya think ya doin' mister."
Oh my God.
I think I'm gonna heave.
Who the fuck still talks like that?
"If you want to stay attached to your hands keep them OFF my girl!"
"Spi